"Whatever's in front of me, I'll choose to sing Hallelujah."

1 Peter 5:6-11- "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him because He cares for you.  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking who he may devour.  Resist him, steadfast in the faith knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by Your brotherhood in the world.  but may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.  To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

I'm waiting still God.  I love you.

Riding into the Sunset.

Sunsets over highways.
Yesterday, driving home from Golden Acres outreach, it looked like someone had painted streaks of pink and orange across the sky.  Admiring that sunset just gave me one more reasurrence that God is faithful and in control.  I saw God work yesterday in some pretty great ways and that sunset was just the cherry on top.  I have a peace right now that I can't understand.

When it strikes midnight.
Tonight is my sister's sweet 16.  She is beyond excited and so am I for her.  I pray that she will be swept off her feet.  I hope that this event will not allow her to lose perspective, but see how deeply she is loved.  Because she really is.

To be where You are Lord, now and forever.

12:32 AM

I can't sleep.  Read Jeremiah and Be Decisive.  Prayed.  Looked at yearbooks.  Read over the ending of a book.  Listened to my i-pod.  And now I'm blogging... I really can't sleep.

It's probably because I have a million things going on tomorrow... well actually today.  And today, well yesterday, I had a million things going on too. 

Today (well yesterday),  I felt so spiritually exhausted during the school day.  Then I came home and ran two miles and poured out my feelings to God and began to have peace.  I don't seem to become spiritually exhausted from tough events as much the mundane deserts of time.  And I've been in this time of waiting and trusting and wondering for quite a while and had begun to get discouraged.  However, "steadfast" means staying faith-full that God is working everything for good despite those deserts.  And that's what I realized.  God reminded me when I prayed that He is faithful and that I need to be still and know that He is God.  After God showed me this, I talked with my friend on the phone about a college that God had closed the door to for her.  It was so encouraging to hear how she was okay with the outcome and only wants God's best for her.  Though it didn't work out how she originally hoped it would, she grew closer to God through it.  And she will continue to grow closer to Him and follow wherever He leads her to college.  My friend's response  helped me realize the answer that had been torturing me for a long time.  I only have applied to one college so far and have done so on purpose.  Most people would declare that foolish, because I could probably get into quite a few schools if I wanted to.  But I only want to serve God and put full faith in Him.  And I'm exercising that faith by applying to only this one college.  For the longest time, I thought that if I don't get into this one college, I am going to not be able to do what God called me to and I would look like a complete fool.  I could imagine the cruel laughs: "She trusted in God and look what happened to her?  She just ruined her future..."  There are countless verses about God rewarding faith, like Hebrews 11:6 which says "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."  However, if I don't get into this college, I know longer will feel hopelessness and disgrace.  I'll know that applying to that college was more than a waste of time.  The time I spent on the campus showed me true, unfettered devotion to God and His callings.  The essays solidified what God is calling me to.  The waiting increased my faith and taught me true steadfastness.  The prayer taught me to look at the big picture and pray for others first.  And God would work something out, He always does.  ^This is faith.  And this is peace.  And this is hope.  I pray that next fall I will be standing on that lovely campus so far away setting up my dorm room, singing in chapel, and sharing God's love in that city.  But it's not just the end of the world if I'm not.  And it's not even the end anymore, it's the journey.  This crazy adventure God has and will continue to take my on, no matter where I go. 

Tomorrow (well today), is just the next step in this ultimate adventure I am on.  It will not be easy in the least.  Maybe my friends and I can persuade the elementary principal and students to allow us to collect items for Love Bags.  Maybe a new boldness will fall on the prayer group.  Maybe the Pep Rally will give me the chance to see a united High School.  Maybe my sister will play guitar for the kids at golden acres.  Maybe a long-awaited letter will be in the mail.  Maybe today will be full of surprises.  Maybe I should go to bed now so I can wake up today and find out...

Having World Vision.

On Saturday I reminisced on what God had been showing me this summer.  I started reading this book called Radical by David Platt, and it completely reminded me of what God taught me amd has called me too.  The book is about not getting comfortable living the American dream and not forgetting God's heart for the world.

God really gave me that heart for the world and missions this past summer.  I had been out of the country nearly all June and I was reading Acts which really changed me deeply.  I guess I just got a little complacent where I am these past few months.  But God reminded me.

"God blesses His people with extravagant grace so they might extend his extravagant glory to all peoples on the earth." (Platt)

I now have more passion when I pray for the world each day.  I now have less fear about pursuing missions in the future.  God has called me to it.  He's called all Christians actually.  Jesus's last words to His disciples were: "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

"I hope that you've had a good time on your trip to Mexico. I prayed a lot so God would bless you."

The other day I got a couple letters from my Compassion kids and I almost started crying when I read one of the letters.  The young boy I sponsor in Dominican Republic wrote to me about he had been praying for my Mexico missions trip back in June.  It meant so much.  I love prayer. God can hear my cries as I pray through Operation World each day and for my classmates at school.  He can hear my little compassion child praying for my missions trip. Prayer draws us closer to God and at the same time unites His believers around the world.  I love it.

Amazing Grace.

For years, I felt as if I had to earn grace.

And I never could.

Because grace is not something to be earned.

"And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:6

I thought I was not good enough for God's grace

But by thinking this, I was really saying that God's grace was not good enough.
What a horrible lie to believe.

When I accepted Christ as my Savior years ago,

and then rededicated my life to him after ninth grade, I acknowledged grace.

But lately God has really been reminding me of it.

Because I don't deserve and can't earn Jesus.

 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" 2 Corinthians 12:9

In the Hillsong documentary, a quote caught my eye:

"He loved me when I was useless to Him"

Wow.

That's what makes believing in Christ so wonderful.

It takes such a burden off my life.

I'm not following Christ so I can earn heaven or salvation or love.

I follow Him because I love Him.

Because He loved me first.

"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."