God, teach me how to love.

"To love a person means 

to see them as God intended them to be."

~Fyodor Doestoevsky

Love is... patient

I really don't think it's a coincidence that this is the first description of love in 1 Corinthians 13.  Yet I think Christians often skim over it without contemplating the meaning.  It's easy to do this in today's world.  It feels like love should be almost instant- like everything else in America, like that 2 hour romance movie.  But beautiful love is not like that.

Patience means waiting.  Patience means enduring.  Patience means sacrifice and sometimes pain. Patience in different Bible translations means "suffering long."  According to those movies and the Bachelor, love doesn't involve much suffering.   Oh but it does.

Beautiful love holds out when it wants to let go.  Beautiful love doesn't settle but waits for the best.  Beautiful love takes time to develop and is not only a feeling.  Beautiful love will wait days, weeks, months and still love.  Beautiful love is not forced but is developed and deepened over time. This beautiful love is patient.

So God is the only true embodiment of "beautiful love."  But as I strive to be like Him each day, I strive to show beautiful love in my life too.  The guy I marry one day will not be perfect at showing God's beautiful love, but hopefully he will understand that patience we are called to in love and how God is our ultimate example of this.  That will be truly beautiful.

"Ebenezer" Stones.

1 Samuel 7:12- "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, 'Till now the LORD has helped us.'”  

Joshua 4:19-20- "The people came up out of the Jordan on the tenth day of the first month, and they encamped at Gilgal on the east border of Jericho. And those twelve stones, which they took out of the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal."

Today my pastor talked about Joshua and the memorial he set up by the Jordan river.  It was for the Israelites to remember all God had done for them.  This made me contemplate... What 12 "ebenezer" stones do I have in my life?  What 12 memories/places where God showed up can I treasure in my heart as I trust He will continue to do great things.  These words, phrases, places, listed below, are my memorial stones, of when God came through.

[I am nothing.  Everyday.  John 16:33.  To obey is better than sacrifice.  I was captivated.  "bEHOLD, LIKE THE CLAY IN THE POTTER'S HAND, SO ARE YOU IN MY HAND, o HOUSE OF iSRAEL."  In San Felipe. Be still and know that He is God.  I was deferred but He wasn't. prayers answered.  Your Love is a Song. A BIBLE.]

God doesn't need me.

It's a tad bit humbling but completely relieving.   God doesn't need me.  He's the creator of the universe, the designer of gravity, the artist of the sunset, the God who is drawing all men near to himself.  He wants me to help, to obey His calling on my life, but He doesn't want to to worry or try to save the world.  He doesn't want me to feel like I have to be this super hero.  That's who He is and I am merely His servant. I just have to walk in obedience to Him and bring Him glory where I am.  God is doing the same in other Christians' lives too.  Together, we will bring His gospel message.  It's not only my responsibility.  It's easy to forget that when I'm at home alone doing Bible school.  Thank you Lord.

Somewhere I belong...

It's 2012 and I've already traveled my fair share.  God brought me back to Mexico... A year ago I never would have guessed.  Then He helped me plan and go on an amazing spiritual retreat with some of the best people in the world.  Now, I am involved in the outreach my heart loves and am witnessing to people at work.  I am taking online classes with the best Bible college and am hopeful about heading to a major city in the midwest in August to continue my schooling. Right now I am contemplating about the months to come- where to go, what to do.  There are so many opportunities, so many different possibilities.  A year ago, I never would have dreamed this is where I would be, but God knew.  No, it's not all sunshine and rainbows but it's lovely.  Why?  Because even though I may cry now and again or may still have some tough moments, I am where I am supposed to be. 

And where is that?  With Him of course, in the middle of His will.
  

"And the heartbeat of my life, is to worship in Your light, cause Your glory is so beautiful, Your glory is so beautiful..."
Sons & Daughters

:'(

Hands down,

for some reason,

 I cry more about the

wonderful

times in my life than the

terrible

 times.



We all may be running away.

Today I had a sort-of epiphany.  It is only my second day in a row reading the book of Jonah, but God has already pinpointed my heart with how I need to change.  This is my prayer in response.

"God, so many of us believers have seen extraordinary love and grace and mercy from You.  Yet we have trouble sharing it!  We, like Jonah, want to hoard the gospel message because maybe some people just don't deserve God's grace.  No, we may never say this, but we act in this way. 

But this is a lie.  God's love is for EVERYONE. All people need to know that Jesus loves them enough He died for them.  We Christians complain about these 'plants'- we're running low on money, we disagree of this issue, we are bored of the Bible, we don't like our church, etc.  We consume our time with these selfish cries.  Yet billions of people are headed toward Hell if we don't say anything.  Billions of people are destined toward destruction and maybe they just need someone to tell them.

God, take away this heart of mine which sometimes reflects that of Jonah.  Help me to tell the 'perishing' about you at every opportunity I get.  Thank you for choosing to use me.  Please strengthen me not to run away."