First, love.

“I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary.  Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love."
~Revelation 2:2-4

Recently, I was talking with my friend about the story of Mary and Martha.  Jesus honored Mary's worship but plainly stated his opposition to Martha's busyness.  Sadly, Christians seem to more often fall into the Martha category than that of Mary.  There is ministry to be done! People to save! Another commitment to make!  This is quite true.  But is that how God desires us to live, in a rush of constant service and guilt if we are not doing something for the kingdom?  Even if accomplishing the right goals, service can become a distraction from God. 

As a person involved in ministry and service multiple times a week, I have to check my heart.  I am beginning to see that I am in danger of losing my first love under the disguise of serving.  God's command is not our "busyness" but our love and our obedience.  I think if we can hold onto our first love and truly worship God, then that will come out of our lives in every way and ultimately lead to the right kind of service. 

I Will Follow.

(Chris Tomlin)

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

If you ever get the opportunity to go to a Chris Tomlin concert, take it.  It was an absolutely amazing worshipful night!

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"Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust being affected?"

~Oswald Chambers

Wind-swept hair, Flying fish, Enchanting rainforest, Whale tails, Bright Caterpillars, Sacred Romance.

This past week I spent away from home, on some sunny islands in the caribbean. On first arriving in Puerto Rico, I struggled with going on such a lovely vacation.  How could I go on a cruise and have so much, when others have so little?  Guilt wrestled me.  I should be spending my time doing something more meaningful, I should be spending my money on something helping others more, I should be spending more time reading my Bible. 

I started reading this book by John Eldredge entitled Sacred Romance and realized something.  Yes, God is practical and does want us to be wise with our time and money.  However, He doesn't want us to kill our hearts.  He wants us to LOVE Him.  Not abandon love altogether to please Him.  He desires us to glory in Him, rejoice in His goodness, enjoy His creation, and smile.  He does not ask for empty repetition.  As Oswald Chambers says: "Most people begin coming to God once they stop being religious, because there is only one master of the human heart- Jesus Christ, not religion."

As I remembered the captivating moments God has blessed me with, I realized how good God truly is.  On my vacation, I began to look for those glimpses and cherish them.  I admired the waterfalls and the expanse of the ocean.  I became unafraid to look at life as an adventure and love story.  As Frederick Buechner says:

"It is a world of magic and mystery, of deep darkness and flickering starlight.  It is a world where terrible things happen and wonderful things too.  It is a world where goodness is pitted against evil, love against hate, order against chaos, in a great struggle where often it is hard to be sure who belongs to which side because appearances are endlessly deceptive.  Yet for all its confusion and wildness, it is a worlds where the battle goes ultimately to the good, who live happy ever after, and where in the long run everybody, good and evil alike, becomes known by his true name... That is the fairy tale of the Gospel with, of course, one crucial difference from all other fairy tales, which is that the claim made for it it that it is true, that is not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since and is happening still."

When I rededicated my life to Christ almost three years ago, it wasn't so that I could become a better person.  It was because I wanted God to take me on an adventure.  And He has.  And He still will.  He's taught me to be steadfast during the tough times. But He's also given me passion to live each day in love with Him.

Control.

Yesterday I turn on my computer as usual to log onto my e-mail.  I'm about to enter in my username when words catch my eye: Earthquake, Japan, Tsunami, Destruction, Missing.  I click on the news link and my heart breaks.  I feel so powerless, so helpless. 

There are so many things in this world that are out of my control.  And I can be such a control freak.  I ask God: Why did this happen? But He answers that He is holding everything in His hand, even when it seems like it all is falling apart. 

God, I surrender control to You.  There are so many things bigger than me, but not bigger than you.  Help me not to worry.  Help me not to fear.  Strengthen those who are facing their worst nightmares this week.  Please be with those in Japan and Hawaii.  God, I believe you are loving, but this world is quite fallen.  Don't let me doubt Your goodness.  Be a strong tower and a mighty fortress to the people in Japan.  Continue to send out missionaries to make your love and grace known all around the world.  Bring hope. Be in control.   Make beautiful things out of dust.

Never Forget.

You only get to have Senior skip day once.  And mine would turn out like this...

*My friend and I went to the beach and it started pouring rain as soon as we got there.  We had to pay $10 for parking and then we stood beneath this pavilion for 15 minutes praying that the hurricane would let up, but it didn't. 
*So we headed back to the parked car and I almost flew away like Mary Poppins with the umbrella.  Then my friend managed to back up her car into a pole. 
*After we got out of that parking garage, we drove through the monsoon to Chick-fil-a where we managed to have a great lunch and then it stopped storming.
*However, with gray skies still overhead, we drove over to Pier 1 Imports and found all kinds of unnecessary but pretty items like a giant spatula, frog statues, and chip clips shaped like alligators.
*After walking around a disappointing outdoor mall, we started driving again, heading nowhere.
*We finally decided to go to another beach but since we only have fifteen minutes, we browsed the tourist shops.

So senior skip day did not go exactly as planned, but you know what? Some moments made me laugh so hard, I don't think I will ever forget.

Hypocrisy is a cold slap in the face.

It has broken my heart to find that what you believe is true and genuine and good, is actually all a lie.

"My little children, let us not love in word and in tongue, but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:18

The truth is that lies hurt everyone, even the casual onlooker.  They diminish integrity and respect. Sometimes the unlikeliest people can be so cruel. And you wonder Why?  I know we all have our flaws, but we are the body of Christ.  I truly do see the enemy trying to divide Christians and hurt their testimonies.  It pains me to realize that I have been so blind to hypocrisy.  But God can redeem it, somehow.

Over my head.

Hosanna!

Yesterday when I sang the song Hosanna in chapel, I remembered what it meant.  Hosanna means "God save us!"  So I began to pray: God save my Senior class that we won't fall away but will follow You.  God save my classmates who feel like their lives are falling apart.  God save the lost generation of young people in America.  God save the people in the countries I pray for in Operation world each year.  God save us and teach us what we should be living for.  Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!

"Speak Now"

As it says in James 3:5-6, "Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great thing.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles! The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity..."

For some reason, it has always been easy for me to hold my tongue, to pause before I saw something stupid.  However, lately God has been showing me that thought the tongue can be used for evil, it can also be used for good. 

My sister and I have been listening to Taylor Swift's newest CD and I've loved how honest Taylor has been.  I wish I could speak out like that.  Because sometimes I don't speak when I should.  And maybe, not speaking up is like lying because others assume I agree or am indifferent, when really I do have another opinion.  I need to learn to "Speak Now" for what I believe is right, so that I don't regret it later.  Because sometimes a second chance never comes around.

"Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow.  For what is your life?  It is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.  Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.'" James 4:14-15