My heart is

full... 

God is taking me to Africa.
Flight tickets bought, bags just about packed, countless prayers prayed, hugs given, phone calls made, letters sent, surprises prepared, conferences attended...
2 days ago I got this e-mail and talked to my dad on the phone.  There was suddenly a possibility the trip was off.  My heart was stricken.  Lies haunted me- God does not want to use me.  I am never going to be good enough.  Lies multiplied.
Then I just had a peace.  I knew the truth.  NO MATTER IF I WAS ABLE TO TAKE THE TRIP OR NOT, GOD LOVED ME.  If He was going to close that door, it was only because He was going to open another one.  Still, I felt such a strong calling to go.  Why would God call me and prepare me and put the pieces completely in place to abandon me?  My God is faithful.  He has steadfast love.  He will not leave me.  And He didn't.
I started reading Psalm 91 and dwelled on God's promises.  And you know what? He kept His promise!  
Tomorrow God is going to begin to stretch my faith in a completely new way as I embark on a trip to Africa.  I will be sure to keep you updated on the adventure as well as I can.   All I know is that these words cannot do justice to the overwhelming joy in my heart.  God has not abandoned me or found me useless.  He wants me to shine for Him on another continent.   


As I look back on my Freshman year of college, God never once left my side!  He was there during the good, bad, mundane, and joyous.  He was there and it was His will.  My heart is full. 

I do.

"Do I believe that you're my God? 

That You're all I need?  

That You're all I need?"

{My Hope}

You Are The Way.

I believe Jesus is the way, the only way.

Yet so many don't know; they are perishing.

The other night I saw Jeremy Camp and sang along-

"Shine, Bright, let your glory fill this land

Lift high the King of Kings and great I Am

Jesus, You are the way."

That's my prayer- has ever been.

I prayed for my class of 2011,

That God would be their way.

I pray for Golden Acres,

That these children will know Jesus.

I pray and reach out at work.

I am going to Africa to tell that Jesus is the Way.

I myself fall short but God will reveal Himself,

hopefully through the little bit I can do.

He's the way, I want more people to walk in it.

We give You all the the glory...

It's crazy how hectic life can become and how I can become distracted as a result.  Over the past days, I really have come to see how my complete motivation in life is to worship Jesus Christ, my Lord.  I feel like sometimes my motives in ministry/missions are too often replaced with less-worthy goals.  I must keep coming back to worship.


As if on cue, last week my church hosted a huge worship conference.  I was able to see Phil Wickham in concert for the second time.  I also went on to my church's big worship night the next evening.  It was much needed.  I needed to lift my eyes away from the world and look to Christ.  I am realizing how much I desperately need this sweet communion with my Savior, this beautiful time worshipping Him on a regular basis.


Phil's song "Shining" really touched my heart.  The lyrics really speak of my thoughts:


"God, shining like the sun
Let your kingdom come
I want to be with You in Your presence
I'm here to bring you praise
You take my breath away
And now I'm here with You in Your presence."


I want God's kingdom to come.  I just want to be with Him.  I desire for all my actions to be reflective of my worship of Him.  I want my missions to come from my worship, as it says in the first chapter of Piper's Let the Nations be Glad.  God really does take my breath away when I think about who He is and what He has done.  He's sovereign and loving and just and good. He's shining.  He deserves ALL the glory.