Long Distance Friendships.

Is this normal?  I have to admit it is getting a little bit tiring.  As my previous history teacher used to say, "Today we are going to catch-up."  Catch up?  Yes, catch up.

I have all these simply amazing people who dart in and out of my life.  But I wish they could stay.  I get to have these deep conversations and great moments, but then they leave.  And here I am, by myself.  I have all these people distantly surrounding me, but so many don't care long enough to stay.  It's not their fault I know.  I should be thankful to even have these friendships, however occasional they may be.  I guess I just want some consistency.

I miss the days when everyone did not have a thousand facebook friends, when they could give a lot to every friendship.  I miss watching those T.V. shows in the 90's when people's best friends practically lived at their houses. I miss those days when "ketchup" only referred to a side for french fries, not the glue holding friendships together.

I know "catch up" is worth it though.  Difficult, surely, but worth it.

Alis Volat Propriis.... .. . .

(she flies with her own wings)

Up Up and Away.

"But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive." Genesis 50:20

Twenty-Eleven.

20 + 11 = One Incredible Year.

Incredibly wonderful and incredibly difficult.
I'm also incredibly close to my Savior because of  everything.
And I wouldn't trade a single part of 2011 for something better.
God's plan was perfect for it and sure I made some mistakes along the way,
But God worked all things together for good in my life to make it the best year yet.



Finding Him.

I can give you a million and one reasons why I am where I am right now.  Maybe not quite that many, but God truly has made it clear that I am right where He wants me to be, in the midst of His glorious plan.  That reason is enough, encompassing all other reasons. 

I truly see God's sovereignty.  I am rejoicing today because of it.  He came through.  Why did I ever doubt?  Today I gave a Bible to this woman I have been praying for so much in the past month.  I stayed awake later on some nights thinking about how the ideal situation would play out for me to be able to hand her God's word.  Over and over again I would imagine what I was going to say and how she may respond.  I was nervous, but I knew it was God's call to boldness.  I believe in both Heaven and Hell, and I want to see this woman in Heaven.  So today came the moment and you know what, she took my gift- the Bible- and hugged it.  Her eyes filled with tears and she began to cry tears of joy.  She told me that her friend was telling her she would be a good Christian and she smiled.  She hugged me and my friend before we said good-bye.  I was speechless.  I truly did not get to talk so much because I was so amazed.  Three words struck my mind and I could not figure out why until later.  The words were "I love you" and they were my genuine thoughts and prayer to God at that moment.  God heard my prayers and saw my heart.  I even ran out of words to say, but He still let me serve Him.  I love Him so much... I truly am humbled to be able to be used by Him.  I will continue to pray for this woman, for those around me, and for God to glorified in every area of my life.  I will be steadfast, I will be a servant, and I will be fearless.  Why?  Because I love Him.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
~Jeremiah 29:12-13

Fearless.

You would think evangelism would come more naturally since I believe the Bible truly and completely.  Think about it:  If I believe either heaven or hell are real destinations for every human being, I should be more fearless to share my faith.  What is stopping me?  My pride is one thing.  I don't want people to see me as this crazy religious girl.  The other thing is my fear of misrepresenting Christ to someone.  What if what I say or do completely something that causes someone to completely turn away from accepting Jesus altogether?  Oh the risks.  But they are worth it aren't they?  What is the worst thing that could happen? 

In America, we can share freely and yet we don't.  Meanwhile, Christians are traveling through jungles and harsh conditions to preach Christ to unreached tribes.  They are living in closed countries where it is illegal to proselytize so that they can just lead a few people there to know Jesus.  They are learning foreign languages.  They are leaving their families.  And yet I struggle to evangelize here in America?!

God, you have called me to be fearless.  What can man do to me?  Please help me to stand for you and be unafraid to preach your name if the time is right.  Humble me.  Don't let me put You to shame.  Be glorified as I truly live like I believe the words in the Bible.

God says "I have not called you to a place; I have called you to Myself."

"I don't know what God has for us, but I want to be available to go... I feel like God has me blindfolded and is leading me along a path I don't quite understand. 
But I will follow Him."
~Bonnie Witherall

Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of

Death.

More than any year before, 2011 has made me realize how truly short life is.

In January, my great aunt Vie, whom I had often received cards from, but never knew, came to visit my family.  We went to the zoo, to Olive Garden, to church with her.  And a few months later, just like that, she had a heart attack and passed away.  I did not think when I kissed her good-bye that I would never see her again or never again receive a beautiful card in the mail from her.  But just like that, she's gone.

Last year when I was recovering from being sick with pneumonia, I ran into one of my dad's friends from Bible Study at my church.  He asked me how I was feeling and told me he knew my dad.  I asked him his name because I thought I had never met him before.  When he replied, I realized I did know him; he was my dad's close friend who had been battling lung cancer for the past few years.  I hadn't even recognized him.  He had such faith.  His cancer escalated in the spring when he lost the battle against it.  He wanted to become a pastor of a satallite church but he never got the chance.  He left behind a family with a hole in it.  But now he's home.

I could tell you about the girl in my grade last year who's mom took her own life.  Then there was the girl who graduated two years before me, Saludatorian of her class, and passed away in her sleep while at college.  Now I hear about 5 deaths in the past three days:  One is a newly-wed young man who graduated a few years before me.  Another was a young woman on my friend's college dance team.  And then one of my online classmates lost three close friends (all 16 or younger) in a car accident. 

God, I believe these people are home, but why so soon?  My heart is overwhelmed. Please help me to make the most of each moment I have.  Because it could be over so quickly.

Lost in Translation.

¿Es eso lo que otros ven en mí?

È il mio messaggio perdersi nella traduzione?

Я не живу своїм життям, щоб мати успіх

aut bonum

या अच्छी लड़की

Oswa menm dwe byen-renmen.

Υπάρχει κάποιος που βλέπετε αυτήν την καρδιά του ορυχείου;

我住他。

แม้ว่าฉันจะล้มเหลวก็ยังพยายาม

Shábháil sé dom, anois is mian liom daoine eile a fheiceáil.

But is my life in a foreign language?